Lone King of Spades!

I have to apologize to my main squeeze, Michael, for hurting his feelings in my last post, by not recognizing that HE is my King of Spades!

Yesterday, when I got into his car he jumped right on it.  I say this with a smile on my face because I think it is adorable that he was jealous.  I want to make this up to him by letting you all know that I am in love with the most wonderful man in the entire world.  He is my heart, my rock, and at times my ATM.

Thank you Michael.  I love you.

PRACTICE RUN

I have officially chosen my date of departure.  Monday, June 25, 2012.  I'm starting to get excited AND nervous.  I decided to take a couple of practice runs. NO I didn't actually RUN..but I did get up early and drive 150 miles in 100 degrees to attend a blues festival.  I packed my dietary lunch, my extra wide lawn chair and a great attitude.  Despite the 100 degree's weather and me wearing stretch jeans it was a fantastic time.  Those that know me KNOW I'm an extrovert, but I was able to sit and be the observer.  I didn't even talk to the couples to my right, right, front, back, side, wedged between other couples!  I admit that there were a LOT of couples!  A 50 year old, plus size, divorced lady (albeit GORGEOUS) wasn't successful at finding that lone king of spades.   I did, however, receive a couple of cleavage glimpses.  Some men, some woman.  Flattered by both!  Maybe it was the glare from the ocean of sweat that had accumulated there and they wanted to dive in!

EAT PRAY LOVE

Hello loyal followers.

I have received a lot of feedback, most constructive and supportive.  One reaction caused me pause.  Someone actually asked, "What is this, your Eat, Pray, Love?"  Although I have not read the book, nor seen the movie I can glean their meaning.  This is my post divorce mid life crisis.  Well, I have a few things to say about that.
1) I wasn't SAD when my ex signed the papers.
2) I'm not LOST.  I have the unique ability as a teacher to have summers off.  I have always wanted to trek cross country, ideally with a beautiful, warm, respectful companion.  I DO have a warm, beautiful, respectful companion...who has to work!
3) People aren't pissed that I'm going.  They've offered to buy me tires and a fare gun.
4) I don't care about my house.  All my plants are plastic and the fish died!

So to my questioner, and secret worriers, I am fulfilling a dream of a lifetime that I couldn't years prior due to various circumstances, too numerous to list.

Happy Father's Day

Today is one of those days that brings me back to childhood.  Some memories painful, but MOST good.  I want to thank my dad for giving me so many of his wonderful qualities, and some not so wonderful.  Like, his varicose veins and heart stopping anxiety.  The yang is that he instilled an appreciation for all things.  A deer next to the wood line.  A cold glass of natural spring water.  A heavy foot, which by the way it seems I passed down to my daughter.  He taught me how to make people laugh, and most importantly how to love.

Dad was saddled down with 7 kids and a wife, whom I love, but she was QUITE the opposite.  Even though he was young when he became "caged", he did a bit of living prior.  One thing he talked about most was Palm Springs, California.  The retreats, the stars he encountered. How he hopped railroad cars all the way back to Maine, when he was just 16.  The stories about hobo's and what they taught him.  One particular man took him under his wing and showed him homemade signs that meant safe houses where they could obtain food.

In honor of Dad, RIP, I will be visiting Palm Springs!  I can't wait to send you all pictures and video footage to see if I can find anything there that brought him such joy for 50 years.  It brought him home night after night (sometimes driven by the local police) but none the less home.

Thank you Dad for giving me the confidence, comical insight, and love for America that propels me towards my goal to drive across our country alone.

George Clinton & The P-Funk

I am struggling to save enough money to make this "trek" across America in a little over 365 days, so I JUMP on any freebies.  Thank you Coast 93.1 for my free tickets to the Maine State Pier Concert featuring George Clinton & The Parliment Funkadelics!

The music moved me, literally! I found my head sort of bobbing at first.  After the first test and I didn't get vertigo, I stretched my movements to my shoulders, combined with an occasional clap. I started to loosen up. Maybe it was from the "funny" smell in the air!  I felt my toes start to move, sort of like Steve Martin in "The Jerk".  Eventually, I added arms, waist, hips, knees, culminating into the trifecta of my feet and body, UNTIL.....(wait for it)....... the repetitive request from the back up singers shouted, "everybody jump, jump".  There is NO way with my current frame I am going to get ANY airtime.

It was nice to see my generation and a new generation of funk lovers.
I've maxed out my winnings for 30 days.  Watch them give away a trip around the world and I'm not eligible.

Getting Ready to "RIDE"

Part of my preparing for my trip is to become more physically fit for this incredible journey.  I am so out of shape!  I am a LONG way from being the high school star athlete I once was.

I am not one of those "quick" fix type of people.  I refuse to eat processed, portion controlled food!  My fear with that is that once I stopped eating "their" (and you know whom I'm talking about food) I'd go back to my old habits.  The other diet alternative costs way to much financially, not to mention the time it takes to count points.  Although I do LOVE their giant fudgecicles.  I joined a gym so I too could "pick things up, and put them down", but at 10/month at the rate I was showing up my average cost per workout was $80.00/hour.  

Something finally clicked in me.  It is not about shedding the points quickly, its about changing my lifestyle one way at a time and I am on my way.  

I went out to our local bike swap and found a "sturdy" island cruiser perfect for the city.  I did not buy it to climb Maine's steep, muddy mountains.  Or to join a group of hard core street riders with their matching jerseys, which by the way, I'm pretty sure they would fit me like spanx!  

So for today, when I need to go that extra mile, I'll put on my floppy hat, hoist my ample ass upon the large shock fortified seat and ring my bell off into the sunset!

What's Your Credit Score?

When I'm dead and cremated; family and friends, as well as a small village in Guam, have encapsulated me in a miniature silver trinket to wear around their necks, ankles, or if you know my kids, in their tongue, will my credit score really matter?

Judging from the amount of calls, snail mail, and junk I receive it matters ALOT.  I feel like I'm back in middle school receiving demerits for bad behavior.

"I didn't cross my t on a paper, 10 demerits".

"I got caught smoking in the girls bathroom, 3 demerits," lets see..times 30 known offenses....it really adds up.

I'm pretty sure I left my school with over 3,000 demerits.

The banks are now my principle disciplinarian.  I don't pay a bill on time, 200 demerits.  My net worth is at 84%, too high....800 demerits. 

The big question I have is...."What happened to all those demerits?  Can I trade them in like skeeball tickets? Better yet, can I apply them towards my credit score?"